it's a freakshow out there, people!

I will say that having my initial experience on eHarmony and Chemistry did not prepare me for the total freakshow that is out there. And they're all on the free sites! I guess the adage of "you get what you pay for" is apropos, eh?


In addition to the previously mentioned PPJ, the parade of freakshow includes the following:

• "bad boy", 47, Plano, "available" (i.e. he's in a relationship of some kind but still available): who writes me "why does it look like you have a very naughty girl hidden behind those eyes?" After reading his profile, where he says he is looking for "new friends, short term dating, long distance pen pals, casual sex" I knew I was not ever (repeat, EVER) going to in any way meet or talk to this yahoo, but for the sake of my loyal readers and this blog, I responded to him with "I don't know. Why would you think that?" Let's just say his next two responses were highly inappropriate and I've now blocked that bad boy!
• "mr. submissive", 34, Tennessee, single: writes me a cut-n-paste email (more about that in another blog entry) on Sunday that "I am looking for a smart, fun and strong minded woman for some stimulating conversation and a nice relationship...I am in Dallas all week on business."
• "seductive sam" from San Francisco, 43. He will be visiting the Dallas area often for business and will be in town for 3 weeks starting April 2nd. Here's a quote...I can't make this up, people (and please notice the , with no name before...aka another cut n paste): “If you are still waiting for Mr. Right, then, in the mean time, would you not want to spend magical time with this Mr. Right Now - who will stimulate your mind, raise your spirits, and pleasure your body skillfully and caringly?, if you find this proposal unwelcome, then please disregard this message with my apologies. I will not bother you again. But….if this proposal intrigues you even a little – well then read on!! When I arrive in the Dallas area, I would like to host you for the first of our many dates..…lively conversation, fine wine, exotic food and …If all goes well – then I envision, beautiful, erotic and satisfying nights making love. I am a lively companion and an interesting conversationalist. I am also a good kisser, and a sensual masseuse. I enjoy giving oral and really showcasing my skills in finding that elusive g-spot! And if your big thing is satisfying, long penetration, I am skilled in that regard also (and I can attest that those Kegels definitely work)!"

WHA???

Seriously, I often feel like I need a shower after reading some of these messages. Either that or a lobotomy.