I'm back in the saddle again...

As has always been the case, ideas come to me while I take a shower. Today was no different. As I was sudsing my hair with Pantene Anti Frizz shampoo (note: doesn't really seem to work), I was thinking of my first date in 16 years that I had last Thursday at lunch...and my second date Thursday at dinner (never let it be said that I'm not willing to jump in with both feet), and I realized I really need to track this process of what my friend Vici calls "getting back out there." Makes me think of football...which I guess makes sense. Contact sport...you can get blindsided, blitzed, and if you don't know what you're doing, a concussion.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Let's start with the basics: I'm 43, divorced for 3 1/2 years after 13 years (8 married, 5 living in sin). The reasons for said divorce and why it took me 4 1/2 years to wade back into the dating pool aren't important here (that's a whole 'nother blog), but suffice it to say I just wasn't ready. I have a now 5 year old daughter, Makena, and while I adore her, I miss talking about things other than Spongebob or which Princess I like the best and making dinner other than macaroni & cheese. This past summer, my college boyfriend who is still a very close friend and fan of mine, told me that I needed to start dating...that I was still too young to hang it up. I told him I while I was content with my life, I wasn't opposed to dating but had never been asked. He was doing the same thing as Vici has been doing for at least a year or more...trying to push me out of my comfortable 3 bedroom/2 1/2 bath nest and make me fly. Alright already!

Ok, so fine. This isn't like college anymore...you don't meet tons of eligible men in my everyone-is-married-but-me suburb. Church? My church only had one single guy, Benny, who died a couple of years ago when he was in his 80's. My brother, Brian, tried to get me to go to a church in Dallas with a big singles group. Hmmm...for some reason, it just seems a little wrong to use church as a dating pool. Vici is a big proponent of finding men in bars. Didn't like it the first time, not wanting to do it now. That left one thing: Internet dating.

I'll admit that I partially filled out a profile on Match.com, half heartedly, a year after my divorce. I wasn't even done and started getting really creepy "winks" and emails from 50 something men who looked more like 60 something. Turned me off and I never completed my profile.

But, time had passed, prospects were slim, and I really didn't know where else to start, so I finished my profile on Match. The first two guys who winked at me were not my type, but the next two, who weren't even from Texas, were cute! Craig owned a construction company in the Austin area and had one kid and went back and forth between Austin and Tenessee. The other, Enigmatic Andy, who was sooooooo cute and was a widower (YAY! no crazy ex-wife! wait, is that bad of me??) in Florida, was a manly man and had two kids. Which to choose, which to choose...why not have a buffet of both? So, I winked back. And waited. And waited. Nothing. Ever. Sigh.

This is going to be harder than I thought.

It seemed to me, from the guys who were winking and emailing me, that Match was not the way to go...it was like Cafe Dallas from the '80's...a big meat market. Other than how they look, you really know nothing about these people. Plus, you wouldn't believe some of the emails I've received...

"Hope you had a sound sleep last night sweetness.......Danny here, i just saw and read through your profile with very great interest and so thought i should drop you some lines cos i would love to get to know you better if that's not too much of me to ask. I am an independent and self employed arts and beads dealer and a father of two wonderful boys.I am feeling very much like a prince charming coming to take his princess away to his castle, as your profile gives me a clear insight to what it would be like having someone like you as my partner in life, and so i would love us to communicate further by writing emails, talking on the phone and get to know each other better sometime soon, hopefully before we get to realize it our hearts will melt into each other and so will our minds. Looking forward to your reply at your earliest convenience ......"

"HelloI saw your profile and i felt i should send you am email to tell you that am really interested with the person on that lovly pics.So i think i have finally found my life partner,if really you do belive in love at frist sight.You are like God's dove, so beautiful, so pretty, with good hobbies and everything about you match with my style this is why i wanna give it a test and see how it goes and that's what I love, . Thank you, God, for this special woman, you gave me - I can't thank him enough for the love and beauty that I found.i think i will be much interested in getting to know you better and i believe you will be more interested in knowing my kind of person too.in other to allow communication and getting to know each other easy,i will like to exchange my yahoo chatting id with you.you can chat with me on (address deleted). so i will be much interested in yours too. do replyand send me yours as soon as possible.i believe it will be very nice we meet.waiting to see your reply."

"I am a HUGE ROXY fan and Eno fan!! Love John Coltrane!!Would love to hear from you!" To which he writes the entire lyrics of "Editions of You"

I know this sounds hugely sophomoric, but BARF! Are you kidding me? Are these guys SERIOUS????

I didn't feel comfortable with what was coming at me, so I tried Chemistry next. Chemistry is the more expensive version of Match (hence you weed out a lot of the weirdos)...they ask you a bunch of questions regarding your likes/dislikes/beliefs designed to find out your personality profile and forward you 5 matches per day that mesh well with your personality.

While I was at it, I also signed up for eHarmony. It was a marathon of answering questions on that site...if someone actually finished this they're serious about finding a mate. Plus, in case you have no idea who you are and are really clueless, you get a nice personality profile about yourself and how you relate to others. Unlike Chemistry, you and your potential "match" get each other's profiles at the same time...like blind dating except instead of a crazy friend you have the Internet setting you up.

So, that brings me to my dates...one from eHarmony (lunch with Farmer Frank) and one from Chemistry (dinner with Kent who I keep wanting to call Kurt)...